Irfan if you are reading this, I want to say that I am sorry for everything that I've done to you because I know if I keep doing this I will hurt you even more and more. 

The more I get to know you the more I like the way you treated me in every way. Its like a thing that i never thought that I would experience when I'm with you. I am so happy when you're around. It's like something that even words cant even describe how happy I am when you're around. You have always been there for me through our ups and downs, you've listened to my problems and, most of all, you've put up with me and all the crazy things I do. I love being with you and acting like fools, and I just love everything about you. 

Thank you my man 

xoxo

I wanted to be with someone but I didn’t see the point of being in a relationship for the sake of it. I wanted to be with someone I truly liked and saw a future with, rather than just get together with some guy I didn’t feel strongly for.

I am afraid. I'm afraid if one day I might fall for you. I will get hurt. I don't want that to happen to me. I've hurt enough. Whenever I think I might fall for you I will pushed that feelings away like literally faaaaaar away. I know it is not cool to do that but yaa I'm doing it. 

You know what, the more I get to know you, the more fun and adventure I get. Everyday with you its like an adventures. You are full of suprises. I am being the old me when you are around. 

Pain Ends

Breathe in the fresh air, 
Put your mind at ease. 
Let down your hair,
Let it flow in the breeze. 

Let your eyes wander
To all the beauty to be seen. 
If those toxic thoughts you still do ponder,
Then let out a scream. 

Scream until the pain is gone,
Until you're no longer feel afraid. 
Open your eyes to a new dawn,
Let the darkness fade. 

No longer compare yourself
Or your flaws to others' perfections. 
Take the negativity off the shelf,
Focus on your direction. 

Pick the sadness up off the floor,
Sweep it into the wind. 
Close the door on self-hatred,
Never let it back in. 

For the lies it would often tell you,
You will no longer agree. 
Happiness and love are what you should hold onto,
They are whom you should give the key. 

Pay no attention to the toxic thoughts,
Listen to those who adore everything you are. 
Overthinking was what you once were taught, 
But now those thoughts you put in a jar. 

Focus on your goals,
Never lose your fight. 
It's time to open new scrolls,
Everything will be alright.